peter pumpkinhead

was a good looking young lad, except for his head. it was made of a pumpkin. fortunately, he was born with a mouth and eyes, so nobody had to carve them into his face (which would be much too painful). peter was also lucky since he had perma-grin. the kind that the joker or the cheshire cat would be jealous of.

peter grew up in the country, and spent most of his teenage years working as a scarecrow in the fields of a local farmer. his pumpkin head (although always smiling) kept the crows away. after standing tied to a stick for several days straight, peter decided that there must be a better career than scaring crows. he decided he wanted to become an actuary.

heading into the city was a change for peter, but he was excited. he had become accepted to a university in a big city, called waterloo. he knew that things would be different when he left... very different. he would make himself known.

during his first week at waterloo, peter took part in frosh week. he was rather disgruntled, as they made him wear a pink tie which clashed horribly with his orange head. but needless to say, peter had a good time meeting all the other actuarial students. he was sure the next five years would be exciting.

as school started and peter did more and more work, learning as much as possible (for his big pumpkin head), he realized that people were becoming envious of him. not because of his large (pumpkin) cranium, but for his ever present smile. profs could no longer look into the crowded classrooms to see their students. their eyes only saw peter, his bright orange pumpkin head, and a pink tie around his neck.

students began to fear the smile as well. ffor peter would sit in the library doing homework, grinning away like a cocky bastard. the lovely perma-smile that peter had was all for the worse. soon, everyone hated him, and peter had managed to build an army of enemies. things were not good for peter.

peter had noticed that he was being treated differently than the others. it was still his first year, and already he was an outcast. what was he to do. he had to do something creative to capture the attention of all the other actuaries, and make them love him.

peter had a plan, he would climb to the top of the egg statue, and throw his arms up so that everyone could see how wonderful he was. unfortunately, the statue wasn't that tall, and hardly anyone noticed. those that did, thought peter was a little looney. peter became depressed.

peter went into reclusion, dropped out of actuarial science, and became a CS major. he had too much time, and all he did was code, and code and code. one day, he would graduate, and write the best damn pumpkin head adoring software imaginable.

as of yet, no pumpkin head adoring software has been made, and peter, still depressed, lives the life of a CS major.